Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Colonel Sanders or Tom Ognibene?



There have been reported sightings of a strange visitor entering the home of civic maniac Robert Holden. Under the cover of dark, neighbors have seen a man that resembles either Colonel Sanders or very gaunt Tom Ognibene.


There has been speculation that Robert Holden is Christina Wilkinson's personal Kentucky Fried Chicken dealer. Ms. Wilkinson is prohibited by city law from buying buckets of fried chicken within the five boroughs because of the grotesque way she eats through hundreds of pounds of fowl in one sitting. During one such sitting, she mistakenly took a small white poodle for a wayward chicken and began to eat the pet.


Could Colonel Sanders be visiting Robert Holden and sneaking extra crispy chicken legs to satiate the enormous appetite of Christina Wilkinson?


There also has been speculation that Tom Ognibene is trying to curry favor with Egomaniac Holden. Ognilooney may once again be hiring the evil dictator to create campaign lit in his illegal basement using taxpayer money. Not since Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette has there been such an abhorrent union that seeks to destroy the common man. When asked about residents concerned about his suspicious dealings with Department of Buildings employees, Ognibene defiantly stated, "Let them eat cannoli's!"


Could it be true that Ognilooney and Pol Pot Holden are having clandestine meetings in the middle of the night in an illegally converted basement plotting to take over the world?

4 comments:

Tony Dunziato said...

I'm jealous that Tom is now Bob's playmate. That was my job

Anonymous said...

I guess you could consider Tom Christina's dealer!!

faster340 said...

There has been speculation that Robert Holden is Christina Wilkinson's personal Kentucky Fried Chicken dealer. Ms. Wilkinson is prohibited by city law from buying buckets of fried chicken within the five boroughs because of the grotesque way she eats through hundreds of pounds of fowl in one sitting. During one such sitting, she mistakenly took a small white poodle for a wayward chicken and began to eat the pet.

You are a fucking idiot!

mv ben said...

At the JPCA meeting Christina Wilkinson, the JPCA’s secretary, sprang from her seat to take the microphone and tried to eat it. Bob Holden and Tony Avella had to stop her, and drag her kicking and screaming all the while yelling, "Why "Mrs. A" and not me ... I love Pinky....I want him" Bob was last seem offering her Arby fries....

More on this incredible story later...