Unfortunately, not everyone is happy over Gulluscio’s success. The unknown and much disliked other candidate, Eric Ulrich (who we like to call Ulbitch) is crying like a baby. Ulbitch is so angry that he has reported seeing prostitutes on every corner, on every street in the 32nd Council District so he can get his name in the papers. Poor little Eric Ulbitch doesn’t have a chance of winning and an awe-inspiring majority of the community wish he would just go away. People have even made a few suggestions what Ulbitch should do instead of politics:
· Artificially inseminate warthogs at the Bronx Zoo.
· Tom Ognibene’s pool boy.
· Poster Child for the legalization of abortion.
· Liquid Drano taster.