Wednesday, April 16, 2008

The Coronation of Frank Gulluscio

People who attended Mr. Gulluscio’s recent fundraiser are saying that they felt they were attending a coronation rather than a political fundraiser. Over 300 people from all parts of the city came to show their personal and financial support for Mr. Gulluscio and his race for city council. It is being reported that the event was a huge success because friends and supporters brought in over $30K. Many are saying that’s pretty good moolah for a first event and a clear indication that Gulluscio has the overwhelming support and confidence of his community.

Unfortunately, not everyone is happy over Gulluscio’s success. The unknown and much disliked other candidate, Eric Ulrich (who we like to call Ulbitch) is crying like a baby. Ulbitch is so angry that he has reported seeing prostitutes on every corner, on every street in the 32nd Council District so he can get his name in the papers. Poor little Eric Ulbitch doesn’t have a chance of winning and an awe-inspiring majority of the community wish he would just go away. People have even made a few suggestions what Ulbitch should do instead of politics:

· Artificially inseminate warthogs at the Bronx Zoo.

· Tom Ognibene’s pool boy.

· Poster Child for the legalization of abortion.

· Juniper Park Civic Association President.

· Liquid Drano taster.


Anonymous said...

The Brits have coronations, we on the patriot side of the pond have elections, but the fact remains that Ul-boy's facing an uphill battle. There were more than just a few Repubs in the room cheering with all the Dems.

Anonymous said...

to bad Frank lost and Eric won