A Horrific Holden Halloween Story

Imagine unknowingly stumbling into Bob Holden's basement. You are terrified because right away you notice it was illegally converted. The walls are plastered with Juniper Berry pictures old and new. The pictures of the elected officials and city agency representatives who were attacked mercilessly by the Juniper Park Civic Association have their eyes cut out and mustaches drawn across their faces. A dummy that closely resembles Dennis Gallagher has hundreds of hat pins sticking into its body and hangs by a noose from the overhead pipes. You wonder to yourself if a certified plumber has signed off on those pipes.

You trip causing you to fall back against the wall and you notice Tony Avella wrapped in black latex from head to toe, chained to the wall with a red rubber ball stuffed in his mouth. He shakes violently trying to free himself because he is extremely late for a rally he has organized in Staten Island.

You run for your life for the first door you see and crash through but Ed Kamperman is sitting there dressed like Britney Spears and biting the heads off of barn swallows. You are too horrified to scream. You run blindly through the next door.

Oh my! Christina Wilkinson has a live cow dressed like the Wendy's restaurant mascot and is eating the bovine alive! Oh the humanity! You desperately search for a way out. You notice another door and are certain that this must be the way out.

You open the door slowly but Bob is blocking your escape. He laughs maniacally at your desperation. A vicious dog barks wildly behind Bob in the dark. You tremble in fear but are somewhat comforted that Holden has the hidden dog on a leash and is holding the leather handle tightly. The dog begins to step into the dim light. The dim light suddenly illuminates your deepest darkest depraved fear. It's Tony Nunziato on all fours wearing nothing but a diaper. He snarls and spits like a rabid hound. Bob laughs more loudly. You fear that you soon will be chained next to Avella and have Tony urinate on your leg for an eternity.

You run as fast as you can without looking when all of a sudden you bump into another figure. "No Dog off leash" it yells. You look up and it is a life like Bob Holden dummy. You punch the dummy in the stomach. "Save St Saviours" The dummy sounds just like Holden. What sick SOB would make a dummy of Bob? You smack the dummy in the head. "Donate to the Midville Dodgers". "Avella for Mayor" "I am god" You place your hands over your ears because you can no longer stand the sound of its voice.

The real Bob Holden walks up to you still laughing, or is it the real Holden? Bob reaches behind his head and removes the skin from his face. No, no…it can't be…Oh MY GOD!!!!!!! You're not Bob, your…your…your his aunt, Lorraine Sciulli.

You soil yourself and die from shock.


Disclaimer: Any similarities to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. ;)