Friday, April 3, 2009

Vito Elefanti Speaks About Taxes

These freaking politicians with their crazy taxes are killing us citizens, bada-bing, like shooting us in the head with their freaking tax pistols. In a few years, these guys are going to tax everything…..

The Breathing tax- you will have to pay a tax for every time you exhale. Environmentalists hope that this will limit the amount of exhales and reduce carbon monoxide levels in the air.

The Flush Tax- you will have to pay a tax every time you flush the toilet. This will remind people that if its yellow, let it mellow and if it’s brown flush it down.

The Finger Tax- Every time someone gives the middle finger they will be taxed. This will encourage meaningful conversation and healthy conflict resolution.

The Speedo Tax – Any guy wearing a Speedo will have to pay this tax. Hopefully, this will protect the esthetic beauty of our beaches.

The Cell Tax- you will have to pay this tax if you like to speak loudly on your cell phone in public places. This tax will prevent brutality on mass transit systems.

The Sex Tax- you will have to pay tax every time you indulge in pleasures of the flesh. This will help alleviate violations of local noise ordinances and gratuitous hanky panky.

The Reality Tax- people who will be taxed for every reality TV show they watch. Studies show that this may finally end Flava Flav and Bret Michaels careers.

The Fo-Hawk tax – Either get the real Mohawk or pay the freaking tax.

Where will it end?

Those are just a few but I’m sure you all can come up with a few more!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Is that a drawing of Phony No-neck big house Como?

Pinky, upset about the porn tax?