Holden and Wilkinson Split Up

Has anyone visited the Juniper Park Civic Association’s website lately? One of our loyal readers has alerted the Patriots that Christina Wilkinson is no longer listed as a member of the executive board. There have been ongoing rumors that there was a rift in the Juniper Park Civic’s inner circle jerk but we have a created a Lettermanesque top ten reasons list:

TOP TEN REASONS CHRISTINA WILKINSON LEFT BOB AND THE JPCA

10. Wilkinson won an all expense paid trip to a fat Farm in Utah

9. Wilkinson is going to run against Dizzy Lizzy Crowley in a primary because Christina wants to prove that you don’t only have to be dumb, deaf and stupid to be elected, you can be fat too.

8. She could no longer take they combined stench of Ed Kamperman and Lorraine Sciulli (the collective smell of dirty diapers, Ben gay, denture cream and Harvey Wall bangers is potent and toxic)

7. Wilkinson has decided to start her own civic name The Queens Crap and Cheesecake Lovers Civic Association.

6. Holden is experiencing erectile dysfunction

5. Christina is now devoting her life to design and build a dog run in Juniper Park so fat dogs can have a place to exercise. The dog run will be called Christina’s Canine Corral.

4. Wilkinson is still angry that Holden made a stupid deal with Liz Crowley and now the JPCA is once again the laughing stock of the neighborhood.

3. Holden tried to hit Wilkinson but Christina was too tough for Bob and she countered with a right hook and walked out the door.

2. Holden had decided to support David Dinkins in his bid for the 30th council District seat.

And the number one reason Christina Wilkinson has left Robert Holden and the JPCA….

1. Tony Nunziato wants to wear the dress now and be Bob Holden’s only concubine. Rumor has it that when Nunziato shaves his entire body, it’s hard to tell Christina and Tony apart.

Can you come up with any other reasons?