Since we have morons like Mr. Kamperman who walk this earth, companies are forced to place labels on their product to protect themselves from idiots.
Clothes Iron
Warning: Never iron clothes on the body
Vacuum Cleaner
1. Do not use to pick up gasoline or flammable liquids
2. Do not use to pick up anything that is currently burning.
Moet White Star Champagne
Warning: Remove label before placing in microwave.
Superman Costume
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
GameCube Instruction Manual
Do not attempt to stick head inside deck, which may result in injury.
Swanson TV Dinners
This product must be cooked before eating.
Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.
Hair Coloring
Do not use as an ice cream topping.
Birth Control Pills
Do not use if you are pregnant, intend to become pregnant, or might be pregnant.
Mattress
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow
500-piece puzzle
Some assembly required.
Chainsaw
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.
2 comments:
Ed does need some product advisory help about all the Vitalis he puts into his coif. It's like the Petrolium Strategic Reserve on top of his head. Don't get too close with a lighted match.
At ZUMS Eds seat . SEAT BELT required for drunks.
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