Top Ten Things said at Robert Holden's Thanksgiving Dinner that Sound Dirty but Aren't...

10. Bob Holden leans over to Christina Wilkinson and says, "Just reach in and grab the giblets."

9. Bob Holden uses government money to buy food for himself and his cronies, stretches his skinny arms across the table and says, "Whew...that's one terrific spread!"

8. Tony Numbnuts closes his eyes and mumbles, "I am in the mood for a little dark meat!"

7. Christine Wilkinson stands up wearing a table cloth and screams, "Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist."

6. Ed Kamperman wakes up from his drunken stupor and spouts, "Talk about a HUGE breast!"

5. Eric Ulrich stands behind Tony and shouts, "And he forces his way into the end zone!"

4. Holden looks at Christina and says, "She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her down."

3. Lorrain Scungilli runs out of the bathroom and says, "It's cool whip time!"

2. Liz Crowley hangs up the phone with Brian McClaughlin and says, "If I don't unbutton my pants, I am going to burst!"

. . . and the number one thing that sounds dirty at Thanksgiving but isn't . .

1. Bob Holden sighs and announces to the world, "It must be broken 'cause when I push on the tip, nothing squirts out."